Last night, at 11:00, in a stroke of genius, I decided we needed to hit up the local Waffle Hauzz. (Yes, it is spelled that way.)
So many waffles, so many toppings. Breakfast sandwiches, regular sandwiches, grilled cheese, smoothies, ice cream. Open until 2 am on the weekends! It is every college kid’s dream… as well as every 34 year old infertile woman’s. I got a Belgian waffle with fresh blueberries, butter, syrup, whipped cream, and a Nutella drizzle. Hubby got a breakfast sandwich… in between two waffles with syrup in each bite.
This morning my husband pointed out that Waffle Hauzz is just a few doors down from a large sign saying “Jesus Lives”. I replied, “Yeah, he lives at Waffle Hauzz!!!”
We have talked about this late night meal so much today that I almost forgot that we were in the hospital yesterday and expecting a fertilization update today. When they hadn’t called by 3:00, I speculated,
“Maybe they all died and they don’t know how to break the news to me.”
Crown me Queen of Dramaland.
I felt a little panicky remembering that you have to be ready for anything with IVF. I mustered up some courage and told myself that maybe something happened because it’s Sunday and they would call tomorrow.
At 4:30 the phone rang, I answered it, and as the nurse from MGH began to speak, my phone froze. I could see the call was still running, but I couldn’t hear anything. BAM! All logic and centeredness went out the window. It was as if I thought this was my only chance in the world to hear if I had embryos. Obviously this woman would call me back. Oy vey!
I somehow managed to unfreeze the screen and get back to the call. I used a technique known as “pounding your finger on your phone screen”. When I heard the nurse’s voice, I realized she had already read my results and luckily didn’t hear me frantically yelling, “Hello? HELLO?” on the other end. She started again:
13 eggs were retrieved.
(YES I KNOW THAT!)
12 eggs were mature.
(SAY WHAAAA? TWELVE? ONLY ONE SCRAMBLED EGG?!?)
9 eggs fertilized.
This is the most I’ve ever had. Even to have 12/13 mature eggs, makes me feel like less of a failure in life!
I know I’m trying to let go of the numbers, but until embryo transfer day (tbd), can I just hold onto those ones?