I woke up early today anticipating the phone call from the hospital. It took me an hour to stop thinking about it and decide to get dressed. That was when the phone rang. The nurse said we are doing a FIVE DAY transfer. I’ve only had this once before. Transfers typically happen 3 days past the retrieval or 5 days past it. After the retrieval, the embryologist checks in on your embryos to see who is winning the race. Some fall out of the race. I believe MGH has a policy that if you have 4 or less on day 3, they put the best ones in the womb then. It is always better for the embryo to develop in the womb, but if they have more than 4, they have a better chance to see who really has what it takes to be a winner. We have more than 4 😀 Some will most likely still drop out of the race by Thursday, but I only need one good one!
I started crying while the nurse was wrapping up the call. I didn’t want her to hear me and think I was a crazy person, so I tried to make my voice as normal as possible. After that, though, I couldn’t control the tears. I thought I was home alone so I just sat sobbing on my bed. Soon my husband came running up the stairs with a very concerned face. When I told him the good news he said, “So… you’re crying because you’re happy…?” It is hard for me not to laugh out loud when I see him looking at me so confused-like. I immediately try to imagine what my face looks like and, again, it is hard not to laugh out loud.
Back to embryo transfers.
They always explain to me that for a transfer, one day is not better than the other. I find this hard to believe now that I got a big “Congratulations on making it to Day 5!!!” today. However, I also know that babies come from Day 3 transfers, from weak-looking embryos, even naturally from women that are told they will never conceive. This just hasn’t happened to me yet, so I’m pretty excited about the 5-day thing. 🙂
In addition, besides it being helpful for the embryologist to pick the most viable one, I get 2 more days to heal my body from being under anesthesia and roughed up a bit in my belly. I get 2 more days to mentally prepare for the part that makes my heart race and my stomach ache. I get 2 more days of freedom from those embryos! My friend put it best today on the phone. I told her how after the transfer I have 2 weeks until the pregnancy test. She said, “Ugh, two weeks to sit around and think: did I ruin it? Did I ruin it?” I laughed so hard because it is so true. Then I told her that if it works, I will be asking that question for the rest of my life.
In an attempt to enjoy my freedom today, even though I had to work, I celebrated by myself at lunch. I did yoga outside by my boss’s pool, put my feet in for a bit, and treated myself to a very large slice of greasy, pepperoni pizza. I have a feeling that you all are going to get the wrong idea about my eating habits if I keep posting about waffles and pizza.
I eat healthy, I swear! However… I’m not gonna lie either… That pizza made me forget about those embryos for a moment.
Prayer and meditation? Nope.
Oh well, I’m not counting calories! I’m letting go of numbers! And, anyway, that’s why they call it comfort food, isn’t it?
On Thursday I will think about embryos… and if my hormones have anything to do with it, probably pizza, too.