Beta Break

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Day 27

I think this is going to be my last entry until Wednesday. I am feeling like I need to take a step away for a couple of days to work on being at peace with whatever happens. I also need to get ready for a trip this week!

Wednesday morning I’ll go into the doctor’s office like I did at the beginning of all of this and get an early morning blood draw. I will have to wait for a call later that day to find out what the results are. The pregnancy test after an IVF is called a beta. It measures the amount of hCG in your blood. Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) is a hormone produced by the embryo when it attaches to the uterus and continues to develop. It is also the hormone that I had to take a shot of to tell my ovaries to release those eggs. It is the hormone that will put a halt to a woman’s next menstrual cycle.

When a woman uses an at-home-pee-on-a-stick-pregnancy-test, hCG, if present, will give a positive result for that as well. Since there is already some in the system from the trigger shot, the doctors and nurses really push us IVFers to wait until the beta. Any lingering hCG could potentially produce a false positive. It is also one of the reasons why even if we get a result showing a high enough level of hCG to be pregnant, we have to wait two days to take a second blood test. If the number measured on the beta rises significantly enough, then we have a true positive. So the first test doesn’t necessarily give a definite answer… unless it’s negative.-I feel like nothing is ever a definite with this stuff.

This isn’t like a pass/fail class at school. It is a graded one… measured by my favorite thing: numbers!

Even if it is positive, sometimes the number rises very slowly by the next test. It can mean something is wrong with the pregnancy. Some people then have a miscarriage very early after their IVF pregnancy. Some people don’t. Some people have very high numbers indicating twins and then lose their twins all the way at 20 weeks. Some people don’t.

The thing that I’m learning is that having a child means that you are always fighting for that child, sometimes right at conception.

Sometimes before conception.

Sometimes when you are 80 and your child is 50.

It’s good for me to have these lessons now on letting go and trusting God. It sounds like it will be the entire theme of parenthood.

So Wednesday I will find out shortly before I head to the airport what the result is and then I can take my second test while I’m away. I’m excited to be getting away no matter what the results are. It will be good for my overall well-being. A change of scenery will be much appreciated as well as something to focus on other than myself. I’m getting pretty sick of that.

Nonetheless I will be sure to fill all of you in, the faithful IVF followers. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your support this cycle. You filled me up with love, lightened my burdens, and kept me going. I am almost more nervous thinking about how I will break any bad news to all of you. But maybe even if the test is negative, it won’t be bad news. Maybe God has only good news for us. We just need to be ready to accept it.

See you Wednesday!

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